I want to feel good enough. I’m tired of constantly putting myself down because everyone else is prettier. I want to be okay with being myself. I want to love myself, even if I’m not the prettiest. I want to be good enough. Good enough for what, I do not know. But I want to stop feeling worthless.
I don’t want to feel like I have to starve myself to be pretty. But that’s what the media shows. So that must be what people like..
I don’t want to cut because I’m tired of being numb. I want to feel happy, but I don’t.
Am I not allowed? Is there something wrong with me??
Why can’t I be like the other girls. Thin and pretty. Why do I feel like shit no matter what I do.
Wearing makeup doesn’t help me feel prettier. Wearing no makeup makes me feel ugly, though. Wearing pretty clothes doesn’t make me happy. But wearing old clothes doesn’t help either. Doing my hair up all nice doesn’t make me feel good. But wearing it natural makes me feel awkward.
I feel so insecure. No matter what I do… nothing helps.
I try to be positive. I smile as much as I can.. but what’s the point in smiling if nobody’s even looking.
I act like I’m happy, so I don’t make people worry, but it just hurts me more.
I want to get better. But I can’t talk to anyone about it. They’ll think I’m a freak or an attention-seeker.
You know what? I do want attention, because I need help.
I am admitting that I need help.
But no one is listening.
These are just rambling thoughts that reach no one who cares.