It’s fucking stupid. Don’t do it. Just stop. It may seem like a way to take control of something in a world full of madness, but it’s not, okay? It just makes things worse. A lot worse.
It is pathetic. Friends and family are most likely gong to be disgusted and upset rather than sympathetic, and that will only make you feel worse about yourself.
So please, stop. Don’t hurt yourself, you don’t deserve it. You are worth so much more, and if anyone tells you any different, then fuck them, because they’re wrong. You are beautiful and you are perfect.