The Honest Truth About Anorexia

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IT’S NOT WORTH IT!!!! Don’t do this to yourself!!! You are fucking beautiful just the way you are. I know that it may be hard to believe sometimes, but believe me, okay? Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I don’t see who I really am. I know that sounds weird, and some of you thin it’s crazy, but some of you know exactly what I mean. You look in the mirror and all you can see is “imperfections”. Because you’re so focused on them, they become more and more clear and seem to magnify. So when you look at yourself, that’s all you see. I used to look in the mirror and see fat. I know now that I’m not fat, but because people told me that I was, and I believed them, that’s all I saw. My friends and family looked at me and saw an unhealthy girl with her bones sticking out. But all I saw when I looked in the mirror was fat that wasn’t there. Because I saw this, I didn’t understand why people who cared about me would get angry when I called myself fat. I thought that I was. If you feel this way, please don’t. I know that you are beautiful. Even though you think that by losing weight, you’ll love yourself, you won’t. It will just make you hate yourself more. You’ll start seeing the pounds drop and you’ll think of it as a game. How many pounds can I lose this week? How much more can I lose. You’ll set a goal weight. You’ll get there. And you’ll go lower. And lower.  And lower. Until you die. That is the ugly truth. And don’t even get me started on the calorie counting. You start counting every single calorie, adding and subtracting, checking how many calories you burn while doing every little thing, even things like writing. It gets to your head and you can’t stop. It’s a force of habit now to check every label. Every number is branded on the inside of your head. It’s a constant numbers game that becomes inescapable. It’s exhausting.

You’ll be a lot happier with yourself if you can find a way to love yourself for who you are. Surround yourself with good supportive people, and be as positive as possible. You don’t need to be thinner to be attractive. Everyone is beautiful. And if someone tells you otherwise, then tell them to shut the fuck up, because they don’t deserve you anyways.

Loving yourself is a long process that is rewarding in the end.

Trust me on this one, please

-Raine

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