Welcome

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Welcome to my blog, The Raine Spectrum. This page is going to be used for art, poetry, film, and any other forms of creative expression. It will be my way to express my journey through mental illness and how I learned to love myself. I hope to help many more people. No negativity allowed please. I place high importance on equality, so no racism either.

Thank you,

-Raine

Unsolicited Dick Pics

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PROFANITY WARNING

I AM VERY PISSED OFF

First off, what the FUCK. If you send someone a UDP, you’re a fucking asshole, man. Nobody wants to see that, and if they did, they’d tell you. But they didn’t so just don’t.

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DO NOT FUCKING WAAAAAAANT

The reason I am bringing this up is because I recently received an unsolicited picture in my email. The email that I use for my blog. Like, who the hell is such an actual troll that they have to find random accessible emails from the internet to send dick pics to.

Not fucking cool, man. When I find out who did it, I am reporting them and putting them on full blast. So watch the fuck out, you piece of actual shit.

Should’ve added this to¬†Ways to Piss Off an Alaskan

-Raine

Ways to Piss Off an Alaskan

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  • Ask if we live in igloos

No, we actually build these super cool snow forts. OF COURSE WE DON’T LIVE IN IGLOOS, WE’RE CIVILIZED PEOPLE AND WE HAVE HOUSES!! JUST LIKE THE OTHER STATES.

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My old house

  • Ask us if we have penguins for pets

Okay, seriously?? Who has penguins for pets? That’s just wrong, and most likely very illegal.

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My pet penguin!

  • Ask us if we see the polar bears

No. There aren’t just polar bears roaming around the grocery stores and the schools. Most of us don’t live out in the wild. It’s not Alaskan Bush People.

A bear waving..... HELLO is there any one going into town? ... I just need to a few thing for my family out at sea! It's URGENT.. PLEASE HELP!

Old neighbor, Mr. Polar Bear

  • Talk to us about Texas

    We don’t care. And no you aren’t bigger. Alaska is the biggest state, thanks. Stop being butt hurt over it.

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    Que cute, Texas.

 

Ask us if we’re Canadians

  • Obviously not, guys. We’re Americans. From Alaska. An American state. Of the United States of America.

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P.S. The captions were sarcastic if you couldn’t tell.

-Raine

Military Brat

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Before I moved to Texas, I lived in New York. No, not New York City. I lived in upstate New York. It’s completely different, trust me.

Living in New York sucked. I lived in a small town where everyone knew everyone. Lots of people were actually related. Needless to say, I felt very out of place.

Then I moved to Texas. Before I moved, my mom kept saying the same thing over and over again. “You’re going to be in for a huge culture shock.” I thought this was really stupid. I’m a military brat, how could I be in for a culture shock?? I’ve been everywhere. Well, all over the United States, at least.

She also told me that I was going to get bullied. When she wasn’t making me think that I was about to move to the worst place ever where I’d never fit in or feel happy, she’d tell me that I’d be fine and I’d make friends easily. I thought, “Wait a minute. How are you going to tell me that I’m going to get bullied one day, and then tell me I’ll be fine the next.”

I ended up dreading coming to Texas.

However, when I got here, it was nothing like I was expecting. Sure, I get bullied. I mean I’m a white kid living in a border city to Mexico. So yes, I get called cracker and gringa and people make fun of me for my skin tone. But that’s not everyone. I made quite a few friends who were good to me.

I didn’t feel culture shock. I felt normal, it was just another experience and I’m used to being thrown into situations where I have to adjust, so I didn’t really have to try to do anything to feel comfortable.

I used to dread leaving New York, but now I realize that it’s the best thing to ever happen to me.

-Raine

Important Parts of A Relationship

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Trust

Trust is a deal breaker for me. A relationship is built on the basis of trust. Without it, a relationship will crumble. When you trust someone it means that you think they’re reliable. You’re comfortable with them and you feel safe with them physically and emotionally. You know that they won’t harm you, and they know that you won’t harm them. Trust is something builds along with your relationship, and with it, your relationship builds as well.

Communication

Communication is important in a relationship if you want to get along. If you don’t tell your partner what you want and expect, they won’t know. And chances are, you two won’t last very long. If you and your partner are constantly having to guess what the other wants, you’ll be very unhappy with one another.

Commitment

To be able to have a healthy relationship, you need to be able to commit to it. You can’t be flaky and decide that one day you love the person and the next you don’t. You aren’t allowed to be back and forth between multiple people. You need to be able to commit to one seriously. If you can’t do that, then make sure the person you’re seeing knows that. Don’t let the person you’re seeing believe that they’re the only one when they’re not. If you are seeing only one person, you need to be there for them. You can’t just bail on them because you aren’t that serious.

Honesty

If you can’t be honest with your partner, then you shouldn’t be with them. You deserve honesty, and they need honesty from you too. You can’t lie to someone who you’re supposed to be dedicating part of your life to. You have to be open. That goes hand in hand with trust. Lies can break a relationship apart.

-Raine

Cotton Ears

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My ears feel like they’re filled with cotton. I can’t hear very well and everything is so dull and drifting. My muscles are really sore no matter how much I stretch or rub them or sit in hot water. My bones are aching. It feels like I’m chilled all the way to the core. Moving doesn’t necessarily hurt, but it’s difficult. It feels like I’m constantly trying to walk through water.

My mouth is always so dry and I’m constantly drinking water. I am so tired. Even when I don’t do anything, I’m tired. I sleep for hours and I wake up tired. I go to bed tired and wake up feeling worse. It’s strange and I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

I’ve been really hungry, and I’ve been eating so much food. Like, no joke, I’ve eaten so much everyday, and I’m losing weight.

I drink a lot of water, but that’s normal for me, and yet I always feel thirsty and my mouth is always dry. I have to pee all the time, even if I haven’t had anything to drink.

I really don’t know what’s wrong with me, but it’s freaking me out.

-Raine

AP World History

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AP World History is this course that I decided to take my Sophomore year of high school (this coming school year) and I have so many regrets. Because I chose this course, I was required to obtain the book The History of the World in 6 Glasses. I have to write a long ass essay on it. Normally I love reading, but this book seems so BORING. I want to get it over with but I can hardly read a page without feeling bored to death.

Do any of you have tips for me?? I know that I need to read this book, but that’s just not enough motivation to help me through it.

I have until July 31st, because that’s when I go back to school, and that’s when my essay is due. I don’t know how I’m going to do this. I also have to study a world map for a test that we’ll be having on the second day of school. Joy. Seems like I picked a fun class…

UPDATE: I have been reading more of the book because I go back to school on the 31st of this month and I need to get this done. It’s still pretty boring and dreadful to read, but I’m about halfway done. However, the essay format is ridiculous and I have no idea how I’ll be able to do this. I need to write 53 paragraphs… Ughhhh

-Raine

THE FLASHxSUPERGIRL

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BARRY ALLEN HAS BEEN ON SUPERGIRL TWO TIMES AND THE SECOND TIME, CISCO CAME WITH HIM AND I’M GOING TO SCREAM, THIS IS EVEN BETTER THAN FELICITY AND OLIVER ON THE FLASH. THE ONLY PROBLEM IS I’M ONLY ON SEASON TWO OF THE FLASH AND THE SUPERGIRL CROSSOVER CONTINUES ON SEASON 3, I’M GONNA SCREAM

I AM SUCH A NERD, I CAN’T EVEN FORM COHERENT SENTENCES AHHHHHHHHHHHH

-RAINE

Physical Therapy

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Okay, so my jaw has been popping and clicking for almost two years now, and I barely just saw the doctor about it a few months ago. She referred me to physical therapy. She said that when my jaw clicked and popped, it’s because it was trying to dislocate itself and that if I didn’t get help, it would lock and I wouldn’t be able to open my mouth.

On my first appointment, my therapist massaged my jaw and had me open and close it a few times, and move it side to side. She had me say a few words while touching my face, and then just rubbed around my jaw for a while. The whole time, she didn’t say anything.

Then she asked me if I could bend my thumb back and touch my wrist. I thought she was crazy because, hello, what did this have to do with my jaw?? I showed her that I could. Then, and I kid you not she says, “AHA!! I know what’s wrong with you.” She continued to tell me that I am hypermobile, and that’s why my jaw opened so wide and I could bend in weird ways. (I like to scare my friends by pulling my knee up to my chest and then taking my foot and putting it over the opposite shoulder… I also am great at gymnastics.. now I know why)

Then she told me that because I was hypermobile, there’s nothing we could do to make it stop forever. But she would help me control it. She gave me 3 exercises to do, and a long list of DON’TS. And now, when I yawn, I have to keep my tongue on the roof of my mouth. It looks ridiculous but it’s really been helping.

However, I think that any future appointment might be a waste of time. All she does is massage my face and tell me to keep doing those exercises, and then she turns off the lights, puts a hot pack on either side of my face, leaves, and sets a timer for 15 minutes.

My last appointment lasted 20 minutes. Which means that I only talked with her for 5, the other 15 I was alone in a dark room with hot packs on my face.


Hypermobility Syndrome —

where a person’s joints have a farther mobility range than normal.

-Raine

16th Birthday

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So, my 16th birthday is coming up kind of soon and I have no idea what I want to do for it.

I know for sure that I don’t want a Sweet 16. My parents have 4 kids, that’s too much.

Initially I was just planning on going to the movies with my boyfriend, and we probably will still do that. But thinking about it.. turning 16 is special. I want to do something special for it. But I don’t know what I want. Maybe I’ll have a small birthday party or maybe I won’t do anything. But I’d really like to do something special.

I’d like it if any of you could give me some ideas?? I’m pretty nerdy. Name a geeky fandom and I’m most likely into it. Sherlock, The Walking Dead, Marvel, DC, The Big Bang Theory. Pretty much everything.

I’m also a huge movie buff, and of course, horror movies are my favorite. I’m also a gigantic nerd when it comes to Harry Potter.

I love punk and rock music. Anywhere from Beastie Boys to Greenday to Metallica to Anthrax to Crown the Empire.

I don’t know if that helps?? But I’d really love some feedback. I am looking on Pinterest, but human input is always great.

-Raine